Even princesses have to kiss a few frogs before they get a prince.
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In many ways, looking for a new job should be a pretty invigorating activity. After all, you’re exploring new possibilities, thinking of new challenges, anticipating a move up the career ladder…what could be more exciting?
Tragically, all the potential excitement tends to get subsumed under the other side of job hunting: The (sometimes repeated) rejection. Maybe you’re sending out lots of resumes and not getting callbacks; maybe you’re getting the interviews but somehow not getting the offers. Either way, it can take its toll on your self-esteem and your morale.
But you shouldn’t take it too personally, and here’s why:
1. Maybe it really wasn’t the right job for you
It’s likely that the person (or people) doing the screening and interviewing for the job know the organization and the job better than you do, and have a better handle on the kind of person who’s going to be successful in the role. Maybe they need someone who is less ambitious than you are and will stay in the job for longer than you will; maybe they can tell that the job isn’t going to be challenging enough for you. ”I really wished I could have hired so-and-so,” employers have often said to me. ”I just know they wouldn’t have been happy in the long run.”
2. Sometimes the person doing the hiring makes a mistake
From time to time, we send a candidate to an interview for a position that we know they’d do well in. But they don’t get hired. Maybe the interview got off to a bad start and didn’t recover; maybe the interviewer didn’t really understand the role; maybe the hiring manager was simply having a bad day. Stuff happens – you just have to shake it off and keep going.
3. The job might have changed
Sometimes a company posts an advertisement for a position, gets halfway through the screening and interviewing process, and realizes that the role doesn’t exist, or has changed, or has moved to a different office. You – the job-seeker – gets stuck in the middle, and no one thinks to explain the situation to you. It’s not a reflection on your abilities.
4. You might be spreading yourself too thin
If you’re sending out ‘hundreds’ of resumes but getting very few responses, consider that you might not be focusing on the best opportunities for you. It’s better to spend an hour or two crafting a very targeted response to a job that really fits with your skills and experience than to fire off applications to every job that looks vaguely suitable. You’ll get better results, and your morale will take less of a beating.
5. It’s a risk-averse marketplace
A trend we often see in larger organizations is a job that comes with a very specific checklist: The successful new hire must have X education, Y experience, and Z skills just to make the shortlist, let alone the final cut. That checklist may end up excluding some great potential candidates, but in a tough job market, it’s the way hiring managers can protect themselves if a new hire doesn’t work out: ”But I followed the checklist for this role and didn’t do anything risky like hiring someone without the specified skills and experience…”
Remember, a positive attitude is your best asset when you’re looking for a new job. It’s okay to feel frustrated and fed up with the process, but don’t let it creep into your communications with recruiters or potential employers. Go for a run, punch a pillow, or have a glass of wine with a friend – then remember that eventually you will find the right job for you, and it just might be as exciting as you hoped.


